Be ready for emergency! There is no point waiting until someone comes to show you the level of danger you are in. Once confirmed your partner is an abuser, then you must be ready to move.
Anything can happen, and you cannot tell exactly when, because abusers bring negative surprises especially when their victims do not expect.
For instant backout, this will be your security plan;
— Look out for escape routes; doors, lower-windows, or any exit you think it’s safer for you to use when your abuser is coming for you. Prior, check out the safest route out of your house. You must do this when he is not indoors. Try the door lock, see if it functions properly and would not hang to trap you in when you are ready to flee. Do this also with the windows. In a flat where all your windows are metal burglary proofs, then you have no alternative than to look elsewhere as your escape route.
— Make sure you don’t give him the reason to know you are about to flee. You ask for extreme danger when you give sign of your soon-escape to your abuser. He will do all it takes to trap you in. He is capable of locking you indoors for days while he cut of any means of you contacting the police or anyone. For these reasons, learn to keep calm. Even when you are arguing, do not boast to him that you are leaving soon. That’s a sure way to get him to hurt you the more or even kill you.
— If you have children, show them and practice these routes with them. Then warn them sternly not to tell their father. Remember, children are very wise. They understand any situations easily even if you think they don’t. Tell your children the truth. Make them understand the need to keep quiet, and thorough sealed lips. Sure, they will. There is no child that enjoys seeing his father, or any man hurting his mother, and then will support the man. When it comes to children, their mother comes first. Thus, be ready to escape when the time comes with your children. Please, do not leave them behind. It does not matter if your abuser is their father; he is capable of inflicting pain on them just to get back at you for leaving him.
Teach your children the entire escape routes you know in your flat and you all have to keep this to yourselves.
Step three coming soon….